Well hello! Happy Wednesday! Something that I had been thinking about and working on for a while came up in my interview for Monday’s podcast with Danika Brysha, so I thought it was time to both make a live video on Periscope, and to write a blog about it! Do you ever set unfair standards and rules for yourself?
Even though this has been something that has been a work in progress for me for a while, I still catch myself (and by that, I mean “sometimes Tommy has to catch me”) setting unfair standards and rules for myself. Here’s a little story for you!
Ok, that was probably more than you were bargaining for when I say “story,” but regardless, I think you get the idea! And please excuse the lack of perfection here – it was recorded live, so there’s some interaction with the people on Periscope, and – well – I’m trying to model avoiding setting “unfair standards and rules for yourself!” 😜
And if you didn’t watch the video, read on! Of course, I will give you the text version!
Sunday night, I was coming home from a birthday party, and I said to Tommy “I still have to edit and queue my podcast for tomorrow tonight!” and he said “It boggles my mind when you start a sentence with ‘I have to…’ because you are your own boss and can make your own schedule!”
He was right! While I have set my podcast schedule to have a new episode come out every Monday and Friday, there is nothing that says it has to come out at 12:01am! So per his suggestion, I went to bed and edited and posted the next day!
If he had not made the suggestion, I would have stayed up late and thrown my sleeping schedule off, and been super tired Monday.
Another example would be that I was hoping to have my podcast launch on the Monday after my birthday as a 35th birthday celebration. On the days leading up to it, I realized it just wasn’t going to happen – especially without a lot of sleepless nights.
Then it occurred to me – the only person on the planet who would be impacted by a delayed podcast start is me. I hadn’t made any promises to anyone, and no one’s life depended on the podcast coming out! So, I decided I’d just wait until I could do it, and it came out a couple weeks later!
My final example – my definitions of “failure” when considering my own actions and those of LITERALLY everyone else are two different stories. If you ask me about everyone else, it would be “giving up, or quitting.” For me, it’s not achieving exactly what I want in the exact way I want by the exact deadline I want without anyone’s help. Talk about setting unfair standards and rules for yourself!
So what can we do?
It’s time for some positive self-talk and self-love!
Whenever you catch yourself saying something you wouldn’t say to a friend (because it’s too mean), first congratulate yourself for noticing, because that’s progress!
Then give yourself three kind statements to shift the balance into your favor!
[Tweet “How to avoid stressing over setting unfair standards and rules for yourself – via @Mandelicious”]
Whenever you catch yourself saying “I have to…” and stressing over a deadline, check in to see if the deadline actually has any repercussions if it’s missed. If it doesn’t, take care of yourself first! Look at options to see what you can do to not be stressed or upset with yourself if it doesn’t happen how and when you want it to!
Are you guilty of setting unfair standards and rules for yourself? If so, how do you avoid it?
What are some ways you can be nicer to yourself?
Also, make sure you check out Monday’s post if you haven’t yet! The podcast is awesome, and I am giving away a copy of the Whole 30!
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