The other day, I contributed some wisdom that I got from my dog. Today, I have life lessons from storytime with my baby!
Hello, my name is Mandie B, and I am a rule follower. A while ago, my soulful business coach, who is an amazing person, gave me the assignment to make a list of the toxic traits I have that are a result of being from the Midwest. I am a little ashamed to say that I never formally made a list, however I gave it some thought, and definitely have some ideas listed in my mind. One of these items that *would* be on my list if I ever *actually* did the assignment is that I feel like I need to finish everything that I start.
Now if you are from the Midwest, too, and you’re reading this, (and chances are good that you are, since most of my friends are from home!), you may be thinking that there’s nothing toxic about being from the Midwest, and that that’s where the nicest people are. They’re also probably wondering why finishing everything you start is a bad thing. Let me share with you why that is.
Whether it’s all the food on my plate, any project I’ve started, a job that I got, a book I bought or borrowed from the library, or a movie, I feel the need to finish it.
In fact, my husband – also a Midwesterner – makes fun of me because I once told him I would “power through” a three dollar iced tea that I didn’t like the taste of. What is the point of powering through a three dollar iced tea? It’s not like the iced tea had a bunch of vitamins or medicine in it! It’s not like this tea could go to somebody else who desperately needed it for some reason or another, and that my not drinking that and having it go to waste is problematic for some reason. But, my upbringing has conditioned me to feel like everything needs to be finished.
Lately, I have been doing a ton of mindset work, including money mindset work. The author of one of my favorite money mindset books, Denise Duffield Thomas who wrote “Get Rich, Lucky Bitch*” (and some other great books) recently did a manifesting challenge, and one of the things that she discussed in the challenge was this toxic mindset.
I have also been learning a little bit about human design, and my human design profile does best by following my joy, so I am trying to do that more! That might mean doing a little bit of Marie Kondo-ing my life.
If you tell yourself you need to finish something before you do something else, you’re simply robbing yourself of joy. If I refuse to use my new skin care until I finished the last bottle, tube, or jar that didn’t serve me well, I’m stopping myself from enjoying the benefits of skin care that’s right for my face. When we don’t know how many hours we have on this earth, why should we waste any of them sitting through a book or movie that we’re not loving?
And as for food on the plate, unless you are going to actually go out and give what you don’t finish to a hungry person, you forcing yourself to eat it doesn’t help anything. In fact, it may diminish your ability to be able to tell when you’re full, and contribute to disordered eating habits, in a dramatic worst case scenario. I’d recommend just putting the food waste in a food cycler, unless you live with someone who enjoys how it tastes and will eat it instead of you eating it.
So, did I learned this from any of the experts who is challenges I’ve done books I’ve read, or even who mentor me in a one to one level? No.
Is it something that I will easily retain and always remember? Also no.
In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if Tommy catches me powering through some thing as soon as tonight or this weekend.
But how did this concept become at least a little bit more solid in my brain?
class=”p1″>The other night, I was reading Charlo a bedtime story. I had read somewhere myself that having a consistent bedtime routine would help babies sleep better, so I was following the instructions of having him say good night to five things in his room, then reading a book together. (I started this blog saying I’m a rule follower, and I wasn’t lying!) About three pages into the book, he became very fussy, as he was hungry and exhausted. I noticed myself reading faster and faster to try to finish the book before he had a little meltdown.
What the heck? Why am I torturing my baby by forcing him to read a book? He clearly wanted to eat and go to sleep. Thankfully, I did not force Charlo to power through the book. I stopped reading, fed him until he fell asleep, and put him to bed.
Anyone who has breast-fed knows that it can be a solitary time, and gives you plenty of time to be in your thoughts. As I pondered how ridiculous it was that I even started trying to force him to finish the book, I began to think about how many times I foolishly forced myself to do something stupid and unnecessary because I needed to finish what I started.
So, if you are still reading this, you do not have to finish that if you don’t want to. That can apply to pretty much anything, although do not site the blog as a source of inspiration if you apply it to a work project and your boss gets mad. I don’t think I have to do a legal disclaimer for that, do I? Maybe check this blog out for help with that!
Also, if you are reading this, feel free at any time to email me, text me or send me a message on social media (links below) to remind me that I don’t need to finish that. Because I think it is going to take a long time to decondition myself from powering through.
P. S. If you have been following this blog for a while, you may be noticing a bit of a difference in my contact. Previously, I felt like I had to do everything for search engine optimization, but now I am just going to see what happens if I use it as a vehicle to express myself. I’d love to know what you think, though, so please feel free to drop me a line and let me know! I am always open to feedback, and would love to consider providing you what you want, as long as I don’t have to power through it!
*The amazon links here are affiliate links. You get the same normal amazon experience, and they send me a few pennies for the recommendation. How nice of them!
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